My own private place on the internet

  • So I’m making my own private place on the internet. After a life of realizing that I will never have positive productive relationships with people I am finding myself more inclined to just stay in this little corner of the internet I made for myself where nobody can comment or get to me, but yet you can only see in.

    Right now I’m dealing with many health issues that have been festering over the last 2 years that involve things like complications from a collapsed lung last year. Over this last year since that happened I have learned that humans beings are more horrible than I had ever imagined.

    Or they are in my perspective because my interpersonal skills are at 0% with people. Me… I don’t even have any friends left that I want to talk to. You all come at me with such horrible insecurities and idiotic questions that prevent anything from ever getting done that really I just don’t even want to try anymore.

    I came to the conclusion this last Thanksgiving when I was sitting in a room alone that I am not worth having a family or friends according to the family and friends I have.

    Me as a person I’ve never had Holiday’s with people, and the ones I have had were just too weird or awkward to remember. Seriously everyone I know treats me like it’s the first day we met everyday. So much so that I’ve gotten to the point where my life is controlled by an unknown force or I am in a coma going through some weird psychotic episode.

    If there is one thing I know about my life that is people are NOT real. People are imaginary and the ones that aren’t are only there to attack me or harass me.

    The last year shows that with 300 people in a Discord chat and people never talk unless I am gone… shows that my character is better absent and isolated.

    So I have chosen to isolate myself in this little corner of the internet at away from all the assholes on YouTube and the Internet who would call you a friend and then return only to attack.

    Personally at this point with all the code I’ve written and what I’ve already been through I haven’t the foggiest idea how to talk to people anymore, but I figure writing these blogs for my son in the future at least will help him to understand how damaging his story has been on my life.

    Because my son told me the craziest of stories that has ruined my entire life, and what makes it worse is nobody believes me that my son, his mom, and my entire family are all conspiring to make everyone think I am crazy for some unknown reason.

    Along the way while asking for help from people I think I really might have gone crazy, but that’s just my personal perspective.

    That’s it for now… do me a favor don’t share this with anyone. These are just for my son when he becomes an adult to show him how horrible the world was to me when I tried to tell them his story. Me I’m not good with people anyway, so if you really shared it… I would just get freaked out by the fact that tons of people were looking at it.

    So you see I never wanted to be famous because being around people freaks me out in real life. Like really you really will never understand that I spent 100% of my time alone in a quiet room trying to figure out ways to get people on the internet to share a message. Which is impossible because my people skills are horrible, and I have never even been able to figure out how to talk to my own mom without getting her to attack me.

    Seriously I for some reason have the wording with people that makes people attack and never help. My own supposed father wouldn’t even take me to the hospital when I had a broken back, but he loves to secretly get out on the internet and attack me.

    Which is one of the reasons I really think my family is not my real family, but whatever you think I’m crazy because in the background you are probably working with them anyway.

    more later… don’t worry I am still developing Indra for all you people in the future. I don’t want to, but you know what my son needs a future. Without Indra my son has no future.

    When people finally figure out that I am not the crazy one and learn that someone who has the artistic talent I do is special in the story of humanity. Don’t you get that is why you are stupid… you don’t realize artists are the special ones.